Of Wenches and Violition

April 2nd, 2010

The decisions we make in life are outcomes that come from many origins. Some are the result of knee jerk snap shots of feeling and information, some are ingrained from experience or training, and some come from simple obedience to authority. There are decisions we make for personal benefit that often end disastrously. And, some decisions are made from pure conviction.
I’ve tried very hard to quiet the attitudes and opinions that came with the passionate soapbox Dad said was attached to my feet at birth. Innumerable are the times folks have told me to relax, don’t take things so seriously, it doesn’t matter, on and on and on. So, the little girl put her soapbox away just to make peace; safely tucked away with family photos and memorabilia. Like they said…why make things difficult for yourself? And then the census questionnaire came.
As I read the census forms noticing what questions were being asked and those that were not, strong apprehension started to rise up. Why did the census form need my name and phone number when it didn’t ask if I were a qualified voter? The census form was mailed to “resident” which should conclude that I am a “resident”. (legal or illegal is another matter). The IRS has my name, the Social Security Department has my name, and soon, the healthcare national record system will have my name. I am working, paying my bills on time, pay my taxes, and live a quiet life staying out of trouble. The census form has my address. Good enough.
Although the rules say there is a fine for not filling out questions on the census questionnaire, I decided to limit the information I willingly shared. I told them the number of residents here (1), my sex (f), and my age for projected district and budgetary considerations. I did not tell them my name, my phone number, my date of birth, or my racial classification. Why? Basically, because my children and grandchildren need to know that there are times when those employed by the government need to hear the word “no”. There are times when we need to remind those employed by us (us being US citizens) that they do not have unlimited power over us. Freedom is precious and worth protecting. Freedom happens when we put limits on what we allow others, who think they have power to make us do something, convince us to do. Sometimes we have to say, for the sake of future generations, “this far and no farther”.
My family has a history of public service for generations. Many were one of ”the firsts” in some field of expertise. Although I may not be the first of anything in my family, I am pulling the soapbox out of the memorabilia storage container, dusting it off, reinforcing the corners, and putting on a fresh coat of paint.
Best wishes for contemplative decision making,
The SturdyWench.
comments: tenacity@sturdywench.com

Wandering Wenches

November 15th, 2008

For those of us who have aging members or are aging ourselves, we must face our true desires. I know mine.

Those who know me have gotten a copy of my request should this time come:  Let Me Wander by Leslie LaCour written 4/19/07

My mind is changing

No turning back

Deliberation differing

Inadvertent disconnect

Let me wander

Thoughts flow confused

Stillness in ponder

Peace within

Let me Wander

Actions not aimless

Priceless the cost

Appearance lost

I’m not afraid

Let me wander

Emptiness embraced

Pretense discarded

I’m safe, be at peace

Let me wander

Of Wenches’ and March Magical Musings

March 16th, 2007

Contemplating upon magical thinking. The link below describes musing well.

How much time and effort do we invest in such mental exertion? Isn’’t it easier allowing media clips or talk show hosts to extemporaneously clarify world events; filtered through another’s personal, financial, or political bias? After all, they’re so loud. They’re so popular, pretty, and polished. They’re so confident in conviction. And they repeat everything so many times….on so many channels….on so many stations….in so many newspaper articles or editorials and blogs.

To accept these as truth is magical thinking.

According to Wikipedia’’s submissions regarding magical thinking, they state that it depends on two laws: the law of similarity and the law of contagion. In the first, an effect resembles its cause and in the second, things which were once in physical contact maintain a connection even after physical contact has been broken.

For the Sturdywench, coincidences, correlations, contingencies, nor coercion will convince. Conclusions are not to be based on the convenient. Context is critical as is complete and concrete data.

Let us do the work and not merely massage ideas we want to be true with info bits from sources we no longer question. Let the folks who like attention, feed off of each other for ideas, or get paid for ratings and easy controversy do this. The Sturdywench does not need to condemn in order to not concur.

Happy March Musings to all you SturdyWenches,
The SturdyWench

Clarifying “Wenches”

January 2nd, 2006

I have friends and family who find the term “wench”, much less “sturdywench”, distasteful. Some don’t want to talk with me anymore and some list the reasons why the term does not describe the person they have come to know. My response is ….why? and better yet,……so? “Don’t you care that people will get the wrong idea?” …no. “Don’t you care how people think about you?” .. ..well, for the most part, …..no. “You want people to think you are a fat bartending whore?”….um, say what? …..and …..so what?

Sturdywenches are not concerned with stereotypes….sturdywenches get the job done. While others are worried about what foks assume and how folks view them, sturdywenches don’t. Preconceived ideas, prejudice, ingnorance, and presumption don’t get in the way. Sturdywenches get the job done. Call us what you want…visualize whatever…….we’ll get the job done.

While others are arguing over who gets paid for what, it is the sturdywench who is doing the job. Sturdywenches focus on the need, create a plan, execute, and get the job done. Sturdywenches do not care about who gets the credit or if anyone ever knows how the job got done. The fact that the job got done and the need was met is what matters. Sturdywenches are not attention seeking nor will they be dismayed or discouraged because of paltry and petty misconceptions. Dauntless, the sturdywench carries on.

Upon further discussion with these folks, often it is their own fears of an injured reputation or judgement they have placed upon others in their youth that lead them to this opinion. Conflict resolution can not happen when we don’t listen or see others for who they are and what they do but relate to a term or title instead. Sturdywenches don’t do that. Like the apple packer who gets paid for each packed box, each box reflects a job done; no character association, no political correctness, no stereotype, no hidden agenda.

I hope this clarifies a Sturdywench,

Serving Wenches

January 6th, 2005

A friend of mine is a medical social worker for a hospice. For those of you who don’t know what a hospice is, it is an organization that takes care of people who probably have 6 months or less to live due to disease or health status. This is a poem my friend wrote…..

To Be of Service:

We are called to this work
By interior voices,
The gentle, nagging kind
That inhabit a conscience
And a life. Something
In the weight of a wife’s
Grief, the shape of a patient’s
Smile, bedbound and incontinent,

Lifts us to this routine
Where empathy and compassion
Fly in the face of the body
Politic. Here is no place
To be polarized, everyone’s
Death has equal footing
And no one God speaks for all.

This becomes a prayer
To be of service outside the Self
As if we watched our tenders
Like astronauts circling, witnessing
This fragile cradle of blue
Always suspended in balance.
We know the sacred
Is real, makes use of us, carrying
The voyagers through
The way a road leads home, or
A heart.

Written by Roby Newman 11/21-22/04.
May you be blessed Roby and those who do this type of service.

“I” squared wenches

July 27th, 2004

“I” squared. “I” to the second power.

Resisting with my heels dug into the carpet, the excuses not to go see Mr. Michael Moore’s movie Farhenheit 9/11 became limited. Why go? I had successfully evaded the feeding frenzy about Pres. Clinton for many years and did not want to become part of a feeding frenzy about the current president. This flimsy reasoning finally fell. One could become informed without succombing to a mob mentality….right? Yes, right! The theme of the movie to me was accountability; more on that another day. For now, thank you Mrs. Heinz Kerry for your speech tonight….we sturdywenches will be intelligent and informed.

Of Lions and Wenches

February 14th, 2004

Recently a friend and I were talking about politics and the discussion ended as we exited the trail with a rather unexpected emotional climax. Responding to our subject of the moment, “No Child Left Behind”, my friend stated, “Well, if I were president, I’d make sure no lion was left behind”. Knowing my friend has a huge distaste for Christian ideology, it was pretty easy to figure out what the meaning behind this statement was. I asked for clarification…..no lions would be hungry. Now, my dilemma…… how to react?

Starting with a rather dramatic motion, placing my hand upon my chin to actually and physically shut the dropped-in-surprise jaw, I stopped dead in my tracks. Did those words really get uttered? Sensing the shocked response, my friend back-peddled and said is was just a joke………

Being shocked, disgusted, frightened, or appalled does not mean we SturdyWenches are intimidated. There are often times when I’ll read something on the web or in a newspaper that will send me stomping down the hall grinding my teeth and breaking out in a sweat. Some things just make one sit and tremble. These reactions are to be expected when one exposes oneself to information and opinions that are different from one’s assumed own. I urge us all to subject ourselves to stuff we don’t relish. If we only allow ourselves to be exposed to things we already agree with, safe and comfy stuff, will we get the most accurate information? There is often truth in distateful or disagreeable displays. Let us desire to be wise.

Take a deep breath and listen to the “other” side. I’m grateful to my friend and cherish my friend’s willingness to be honest and direct. There were reasons for the disparaging comment which had some merit. Oh, and while we’re exposing ourselves to the discourteous and discovering new things to discern…..let’s get a big DICTIONARY and be devoted to development.

Till later

Whinstone Wench

January 1st, 2004

A friend kindly sent this story to me and it merits availability to all. Like most successful defensive deterrents, the possibility of use is where the power hopefully remains.

    Melbourne, Australia – - -

    Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting down – - and shot off their testicles.

    The old lady spent a week hunting the ex-cons and when she found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way, said Melbourne police investigator Evan Delp.

    Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on the sergeant’s desk and told him as calm as could be: ‘Those bastards will never rape anybody again, by God.’

    Cops say convicted rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the hotel room where he and former prison cellmate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up.

    The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas’ testicles to kingdom come, but doctors managed to save his mangled penis, police said.

    The one guy, Thomas, didn’t lose his manhood, but the doctor I talked to said he won’t be using it the way he used to, Detective Delp told reporters. Both men are still in pretty bad shape, but I think they’re just happy to be alive after what they’ve been through.

    The Rambo Granny swung into action August 21 after her granddaughter Debbie was carjacked and raped in broad daylight by two knife-wielding creeps in a section of town bordering on skid row.

    When I saw the look on my Debbie’s face that night in the hospital, I decided I was going to go out and get those bastards myself ’cause I figured the Law would go easy on them, “recalled the retired library worker.

    “And I wasn’t scared of them, either — because I’ve got me a gun and I’ve been shootin’ all my life. And wasn’t dumb enough to turn it in when the law changed about owning one. So, using a police artist’s sketch of the suspects and Debbie’s description of the sickos’, tough-as-nails Ava spent seven days prowling the wino-infested neighborhood where the crime took place till she spotted the ill fated rapists entering their flophouse hotel.

    I know it was them the minute I saw ‘em, but I shot a picture of ‘em anyway and took it back to Debbie and she said sure as hell, it was them, the oldster recalled.

    So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the door and the minute the big one, Furth, opened the door, I shot ‘em right square between the legs, right where it would really hurt ‘em most, you know.

    Then I went in and shot the other one as he backed up pleading to me to spare him. Then I went down to the police station and turned myself in.

    Now, baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to deal with the vigilante granny. What she did was wrong, and she broke the law, but it is difficult to throw an 81-year-old woman in prison, Det. Delp said, especially when 3 million people in the city want to nominate her for sainthood and a medal.


Mouthy Wench

December 30th, 2003

Well, it didn’t take very long. Within three hours of conception, the SturdyWench was called a Mouthy Wench. Call me naive, but I think that breaks a record. And what, you may wonder, caused such a thing? What could possibly evoke such a response?

A simple difference of opinion… Sigh…. Having a different opinion sometimes can get one labeled. A discussion frequently begins with clear communication and then can start to follow a semi-predictable path; similar to that of a creek flowing in the spring. The stream beds are easily discernable early in the season but as rushes of snow melt come down the hillside, banks become a little less marked.

A counter part, often male in case that little detail matters, often begins the labeling process with pharses like, “YOU haven’t thought this through” , “YOU have limited experience in these matters”,” YOU can trust me on this”, “YOU should know this”, “YOU need to rethink this”, “YOU….etc., etc., etc.

Digressing, the pharses shorten, coming more quickly. “Normal people”, “Commonly held”, “Easily accepted”, “Known throughout”, etc. are para-communiques. Following this, a battle of will commences, manifested by the inevitable quiet. A stillness and silence ensues to project agreement; but in reality, a feigned patience and pacifying act. Like a trained professional wildlife observer, our counterpart is undisturbed and composed; watching; waiting.

Time passes as both participants evaluate each other and measure the seriousness of the moment. Proceed? Acquiesce?

A decision is made. Remaining focused on the original subject, additional and unwanted, by guess who?, information is brought into the discussion by the SturdyWench. Still quiet, diligently determined not to continue in this “nonsense”, our counterpart voices his true feelings; the inspired statement to conclude our intercourse. “You’re a mouthy thing aren’t you”?

Yes, a Mouthy Wench.

Till later,
a SturdyWench

Conceiving Wench

December 29th, 2003

I conceived today. Mysterious and unexplainable as it is, we women often can tell the moment of conception. For months now I’ve thought about starting a blog or website, roamed computer stores wandering up and down seemingly endless aisles, met with geeks (their perferred title they said), read volumes, played with mice, and daydreamed.

Walking forward with anticipating abandon in one hand and dreaded doubt in the other, this woman continued searchingly; talking with others and listening.

Real women have problems. Real women have answers. Real women have insight and strength. Real women can figure things out. Real women are interested in the events of the world. Real women are being messed with by individuals and governments. Real women are facing real issues on both a small and global scale. Real situations need to be addressed by real women. And so, with the help of a friend, male I might add for those who were wondering, SturdyWench was conceived.

The following months will be busy ones roaming more computer stores, reading more computer books, meeting with more women from all walks of life, and playing with things like Cascading Style sheets, Moveabletype icons, templates, etc., all of which are foreign to this particular woman. Of course, there will be the inevitable “nesting urges”, cravings, and contractions that preceed a birth. And after all of this waddling and work?

A website and blog for women….no subject will be too difficult or touchy to discuss and/or conquer. All women (and brave men) will be welcome here to contemplate difficult situations and/or subjects. Stereotypes, while often fun and there will be links and directories for this kind of entertainment , are not part of this forum. This is not a male bashing site nor a bitter site. This site is for real solutions to personal and political plights. We will learn together and change the world together.

From politcal folly to religious celebration, from domestic violence to masturbation, from prize winning cookies to delivering calves in snow, this site is for all of us. I look forward to sharing with you and hearing from you.
Till later,

A sturdy wench.