Sturdy Wench

For those of us who have aging members or are aging ourselves, we must face our true desires. I know mine.

Those who know me have gotten a copy of my request should this time come:  Let Me Wander by Leslie LaCour written 4/19/07

My mind is changing

No turning back

Deliberation differing

Inadvertent disconnect

Let me wander

Thoughts flow confused

Stillness in ponder

Peace within

Let me Wander

Actions not aimless

Priceless the cost

Appearance lost

I’m not afraid

Let me wander

Emptiness embraced

Pretense discarded

I’m safe, be at peace

Let me wander

A friend of mine is a medical social worker for a hospice. For those of you who don’t know what a hospice is, it is an organization that takes care of people who probably have 6 months or less to live due to disease or health status. This is a poem my friend wrote…..

To Be of Service:

We are called to this work
By interior voices,
The gentle, nagging kind
That inhabit a conscience
And a life. Something
In the weight of a wife’s
Grief, the shape of a patient’s
Smile, bedbound and incontinent,

Lifts us to this routine
Where empathy and compassion
Fly in the face of the body
Politic. Here is no place
To be polarized, everyone’s
Death has equal footing
And no one God speaks for all.

This becomes a prayer
To be of service outside the Self
As if we watched our tenders
Like astronauts circling, witnessing
This fragile cradle of blue
Always suspended in balance.
We know the sacred
Is real, makes use of us, carrying
The voyagers through
The way a road leads home, or
A heart.

Written by Roby Newman 11/21-22/04.
May you be blessed Roby and those who do this type of service.

Recently a friend and I were talking about politics and the discussion ended as we exited the trail with a rather unexpected emotional climax. Responding to our subject of the moment, “No Child Left Behind”, my friend stated, “Well, if I were president, I’d make sure no lion was left behind”. Knowing my friend has a huge distaste for Christian ideology, it was pretty easy to figure out what the meaning behind this statement was. I asked for clarification…..no lions would be hungry. Now, my dilemma…… how to react?

Starting with a rather dramatic motion, placing my hand upon my chin to actually and physically shut the dropped-in-surprise jaw, I stopped dead in my tracks. Did those words really get uttered? Sensing the shocked response, my friend back-peddled and said is was just a joke………

Being shocked, disgusted, frightened, or appalled does not mean we SturdyWenches are intimidated. There are often times when I’ll read something on the web or in a newspaper that will send me stomping down the hall grinding my teeth and breaking out in a sweat. Some things just make one sit and tremble. These reactions are to be expected when one exposes oneself to information and opinions that are different from one’s assumed own. I urge us all to subject ourselves to stuff we don’t relish. If we only allow ourselves to be exposed to things we already agree with, safe and comfy stuff, will we get the most accurate information? There is often truth in distateful or disagreeable displays. Let us desire to be wise.

Take a deep breath and listen to the “other” side. I’m grateful to my friend and cherish my friend’s willingness to be honest and direct. There were reasons for the disparaging comment which had some merit. Oh, and while we’re exposing ourselves to the discourteous and discovering new things to discern…..let’s get a big DICTIONARY and be devoted to development.

Till later
SturdyWench

Well, it didn’t take very long. Within three hours of conception, the SturdyWench was called a Mouthy Wench. Call me naive, but I think that breaks a record. And what, you may wonder, caused such a thing? What could possibly evoke such a response?

A simple difference of opinion… Sigh…. Having a different opinion sometimes can get one labeled. A discussion frequently begins with clear communication and then can start to follow a semi-predictable path; similar to that of a creek flowing in the spring. The stream beds are easily discernable early in the season but as rushes of snow melt come down the hillside, banks become a little less marked.

A counter part, often male in case that little detail matters, often begins the labeling process with pharses like, “YOU haven’t thought this through” , “YOU have limited experience in these matters”,” YOU can trust me on this”, “YOU should know this”, “YOU need to rethink this”, “YOU….etc., etc., etc.

Digressing, the pharses shorten, coming more quickly. “Normal people”, “Commonly held”, “Easily accepted”, “Known throughout”, etc. are para-communiques. Following this, a battle of will commences, manifested by the inevitable quiet. A stillness and silence ensues to project agreement; but in reality, a feigned patience and pacifying act. Like a trained professional wildlife observer, our counterpart is undisturbed and composed; watching; waiting.

Time passes as both participants evaluate each other and measure the seriousness of the moment. Proceed? Acquiesce?

A decision is made. Remaining focused on the original subject, additional and unwanted, by guess who?, information is brought into the discussion by the SturdyWench. Still quiet, diligently determined not to continue in this “nonsense”, our counterpart voices his true feelings; the inspired statement to conclude our intercourse. “You’re a mouthy thing aren’t you”?

Yes, a Mouthy Wench.

Till later,
a SturdyWench

I conceived today. Mysterious and unexplainable as it is, we women often can tell the moment of conception. For months now I’ve thought about starting a blog or website, roamed computer stores wandering up and down seemingly endless aisles, met with geeks (their perferred title they said), read volumes, played with mice, and daydreamed.

Walking forward with anticipating abandon in one hand and dreaded doubt in the other, this woman continued searchingly; talking with others and listening.

Real women have problems. Real women have answers. Real women have insight and strength. Real women can figure things out. Real women are interested in the events of the world. Real women are being messed with by individuals and governments. Real women are facing real issues on both a small and global scale. Real situations need to be addressed by real women. And so, with the help of a friend, male I might add for those who were wondering, SturdyWench was conceived.

The following months will be busy ones roaming more computer stores, reading more computer books, meeting with more women from all walks of life, and playing with things like Cascading Style sheets, Moveabletype icons, templates, etc., all of which are foreign to this particular woman. Of course, there will be the inevitable “nesting urges”, cravings, and contractions that preceed a birth. And after all of this waddling and work?

A website and blog for women….no subject will be too difficult or touchy to discuss and/or conquer. All women (and brave men) will be welcome here to contemplate difficult situations and/or subjects. Stereotypes, while often fun and there will be links and directories for this kind of entertainment , are not part of this forum. This is not a male bashing site nor a bitter site. This site is for real solutions to personal and political plights. We will learn together and change the world together.

From politcal folly to religious celebration, from domestic violence to masturbation, from prize winning cookies to delivering calves in snow, this site is for all of us. I look forward to sharing with you and hearing from you.
Till later,

A sturdy wench.